woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
