He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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