Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
