I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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