It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
