I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
