he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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