Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize