Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
