you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
