big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
