I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
