i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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