So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
