Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize