before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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