In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
