Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize