He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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