We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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