you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
