never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
