i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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