white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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