Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
