Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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