i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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