My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm at about main and main street
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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