Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
