I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
