This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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