Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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