the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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