he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
