i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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