But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
