Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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