Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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