Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
