I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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