she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
