its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize