So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You dont lie about slip and slides
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
