I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
