I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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