His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
