# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
