There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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