Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
