addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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