I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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