Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
