oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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