do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
