the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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