speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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