So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
