I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize