u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
