is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
