did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
