I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize