drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
