would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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